In the end

I wasn't expecting it, honestly.
I was out shopping with friends. We were standing by the denim section when four of them went to look at jewellery. My best friend and I remained, trying to make a final decision about which pair of jeans to buy.
I was busy giving her a lecture, on her deplorable taste in dressing. And then suddenly, a phone rang. It was my friend's. Her mom had called, asking her to get on with the shopping and come home soon.
It happened then. One moment, we were in this noisy mall, surrounded by friends, chatting away incessantly. The very next second, I was alone. All the noises in the world were muted. Things became blurry. I couldn't see my friends, not even my best friend, who was standing a few feet away. And I definitely couldn't hear her making excuses to her mom, begging her to let her stay out longer.
And then there was a tiny voice. Now I can't remember for sure whether it was a tiny voice. Maybe it was a voice in my head. Or maybe it wasn't even a voice, just a realisation. Anyway, that's not important...
This sudden revelation, or epiphany, or whatever we're going to call it seemed to say, 'This is what is going to be like. Just like in that song from your favourite band; in the end, everyone ends up alone. You're going to be there with all these people around you and then suddenly you'll wake up and find them gone. You're left all alone in this world...'
It was an awful realisation. I gulped. But before I could react in any way, a wave hit me. The noise of the noisy mall surged back. So did the incessant laughter and chatter from my friends over at the jewellery section. My best friend was prodding me on the shoulder, and it hurt.
"What's up with you?"
"Nothing," I breathed.
"Well, then come on! They've found something interesting over there..."
"Okay," I said, still dazed.
"Listen, about what you were saying at that time. I understand your concern about the way I dress and stuff..."
"It doesn't matter.'
"What?"
"In the end, it doesn't matter. It's not important."
"Okay, whatever. If you say so. Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Lets go, the others are calling us."

Comments

  1. DipabaliJune 1, 2010 at 3:32 AM

    My pookiness... Its true that you cant take everyone along with you all the time and there are moments when you feel SO alone. But relations that are worth it will stay... over time, over boundaries, national and international. Remember you said that day that if you were in Jude right now you would have been an integral part of the group? well... you still are. And you will still be... even after you have left. Love. =)

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