He's nocturnal. He chews everything in sight. He's toilet-trained when it suits him. I've never had to buy so many flip-flops in my life. The other night he woke us up at four in the morning, four , in the morning, a toy dangling from his jaws. He wants to play . Bennetton, our two month old mixed breed puppy. He's jet black, with a white star on his chest. Makes the most ludicrous noises and can't bark. Responds to anything from Ben-Ben, Benny, Benny Boy, to Benu, Beni Madhab and even Put-Put (don't ask). When given a bowlful of Kibble, first he knocks the bowl down with his paw, phut , then he proceeds to eat the Kibble off the floor. Associates all newspapers as property to urinate on. Same goes for mats. He's teething so he chews everything, including us, LMN bottles, his own tail, his own collar, flip-flops... He's afraid of loud noises and strangers, oh, and the dark.
Don’t fall in love with me. I drink tea without sugar. And I marathon Jurassic Park when I’m feeling down. I make jokes exclusively in bad puns. I count the hours every day till the sun sets. Don’t fall in love with me. I talk to strangers in banks and at airports. I can’t have blended whisky anymore. I let my dog sit on my lap and occasionally kick me off the bed. And I always lose at Monopoly. Don’t fall in love with me. I leave plastic wine glasses with lipstick marks on the dresser. I wear jeans and t-shirts and boots every day. I am a little intimidated by beautiful girls. And I drink coffee with two espresso shots in them. Don’t fall in love with me. I will say exactly what I think of you without pausing to think If it will cause you hurt I’m too short and I will have to stand on tiptoe around you And you will always have to hold my umbrella in the rain. Don’t fall in love with me. I’m too tired in the mornings. I gent...
In economics you are taught the concept of opportunity cost. When you pick something, you choose not to pick its alternative. When you pick lilac to paint your bedroom walls, you choose not to pick mellow yellow. When you choose to send your wife (or your mistress, depending on your integrity) carnations, you choose not to send her orchids. When you pick psychology as your major, you choose not to pick history. When you decide to go to Hawaii next summer, you choose not to go to Vermont, and so on and so forth, you get the picture. In the case of a person like me, whose primary interest in life is to be not satisfied with what she has, the system of opportunity cost seems to mock me on the face. I pick and choose among alternatives like every other regular average joe (or jenny, not to sound sexist) and then play mental World Wars thinking how much better off I would be if had picked the 'other one'. To me, the grass isn't just greener on the other side, its probably made ...
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