Absolution
It was raining outside and I was sitting in the car, Watching the droplets roll down the window, Their shadows leaving asymmetric lines on my arms. I engraved your name on my wrist, So I would not feel compelled to slice them open. But I want to cut through them anyway and disfigure myself, Because what is a battered body in front of a broken soul. I am in the shower and I hiss as the hot water rolls off my back. The thunderstorm has given way to a peaceful drizzle. The soap runs off in rivulets down my arms and I look up, The steam from the bath envelops me and I refuse to feel the pain. I welcome it. The pain settles in my shoulders and seeps into my very bones. I have a hot cup of tea to keep me company, A poor substitute for the warmth and comfort you once exuded in my life. I am tired of being a sinner in your eyes and mine. I wish for the rain to stop and the clouds to clear, And someone to tell me, you are forgiven .