Blue Seas

I, I was the broken pieces of coloured glass, and, You, you were the kaleidoscope that moved me.

Sunset in Jaipur. At long last I realise, Why it's called 'Pink City'.

Lit up by the light of many a sun. Chased by the meteors. Illuminated by the constellations that scar the inky, black sky. Shadowed by the eclipses. Emboldened by the fire of icy comets. My heart is a crevice of the Milky Way. And I am as fleeting as the stardust that makes up your dreams.

I knew I was going to die, Long before I did. I could feel it in my bones. I could feel it in the dark, bottomless pit of pain That I could no longer give a name. I knew I was going to die, Long before the bullet left your gun. Before it missed my heart, as it has always been your intention, And shattered my collarbone instead. Before the wisp of smoke momentarily clouded your face. Before the burn and residue from the .38 caliber GSW singed my skin. I knew I was going to die, Before I crumpled to the ground, ageless and graceless,  Like my life before me had been. Before the adrenalin and shock prevented the pain to settle in. Before the dark blood surged out and pooled around my neck. I knew I was going to die, Because I had never really been alive. And when you finally pulled that trigger, I briefly saw my life flash before my eyes. None of it mattered, until this very moment now, The moment I had been born for. 

It was raining outside and I was sitting in the car, Watching the droplets roll down the window, Their shadows leaving asymmetric lines on my arms. I engraved your name on my wrist, So I would not feel compelled to slice them open. But I want to cut through them anyway and disfigure myself, Because what is a battered body in front of a broken soul. I am in the shower and I hiss as the hot water rolls off my back. The thunderstorm has given way to a peaceful drizzle. The soap runs off in rivulets down my arms and I look up, The steam from the bath envelops me and I refuse to feel the pain. I welcome it. The pain settles in my shoulders and seeps into my very bones. I have a hot cup of tea to keep me company, A poor substitute for the warmth and comfort you once exuded in my life. I am tired of being a sinner in your eyes and mine. I wish for the rain to stop and the clouds to clear, And someone to tell me, you are forgiven .

He stood by the edge of the sea, Where the waves tickled his feet, And the little crabs scurried sideways. He reached his arms out towards the horizon, But she was too far gone, too far gone. He stood in the middle of his garden, The grass, a lush, green carpet below him. The hummingbirds whizzed past him. He turned to look at the lights in his house, And she was too far gone, too far gone. He sits with his friends in the cafe they frequent. He stirs the viscous liquid in his cup. He laughs at their jokes,  And he doesn't have a care in the world. Little does he know that she's too far gone, too far gone.