He's nocturnal. He chews everything in sight. He's toilet-trained when it suits him. I've never had to buy so many flip-flops in my life. The other night he woke us up at four in the morning, four , in the morning, a toy dangling from his jaws. He wants to play . Bennetton, our two month old mixed breed puppy. He's jet black, with a white star on his chest. Makes the most ludicrous noises and can't bark. Responds to anything from Ben-Ben, Benny, Benny Boy, to Benu, Beni Madhab and even Put-Put (don't ask). When given a bowlful of Kibble, first he knocks the bowl down with his paw, phut , then he proceeds to eat the Kibble off the floor. Associates all newspapers as property to urinate on. Same goes for mats. He's teething so he chews everything, including us, LMN bottles, his own tail, his own collar, flip-flops... He's afraid of loud noises and strangers, oh, and the dark.
It was raining outside and I was sitting in the car, Watching the droplets roll down the window, Their shadows leaving asymmetric lines on my arms. I engraved your name on my wrist, So I would not feel compelled to slice them open. But I want to cut through them anyway and disfigure myself, Because what is a battered body in front of a broken soul. I am in the shower and I hiss as the hot water rolls off my back. The thunderstorm has given way to a peaceful drizzle. The soap runs off in rivulets down my arms and I look up, The steam from the bath envelops me and I refuse to feel the pain. I welcome it. The pain settles in my shoulders and seeps into my very bones. I have a hot cup of tea to keep me company, A poor substitute for the warmth and comfort you once exuded in my life. I am tired of being a sinner in your eyes and mine. I wish for the rain to stop and the clouds to clear, And someone to tell me, you are forgiven .
I dream of many things. I remember the pale, yellow sun, washing my face. I dream that I can see the sun again, perched up in the sky. I dream of the blue, transparent waters of the sea. The white sand slipping from under my feet with every fresh, frothy wave. I dream of the cold wind hitting my red, frostbitten nose. I dream of the feeling of my boots trudging on the fresh, flaky snow before it turns to ice. I dream of crowded concert halls. I dream of icy aisles in supermarkets. I dream of coffee and its painfully bitter taste on my tongue. Milk, no sugar. Left out on the kitchen table long enough to become room temperature. I dream of stained glass windows in churches. I dream of diving into a pool on a hot, summer day. I dream of bonfires and marshmallows. I dream of sitting outside, with chocolate fondue, the sea breeze whipping my hair. I dream of doing something worthwhile, accomplishing something, saving the world. I dream. Because that is all I can do. ...
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