Don't

Don’t fall in love with me.

I drink tea without sugar.

And I marathon Jurassic Park when I’m feeling down.

I make jokes exclusively in bad puns.

I count the hours every day till the sun sets.

Don’t fall in love with me.

I talk to strangers in banks and at airports.

I can’t have blended whisky anymore.

I let my dog sit on my lap and occasionally kick me off the bed.

And I always lose at Monopoly.

Don’t fall in love with me.

I leave plastic wine glasses with lipstick marks on the dresser.

I wear jeans and t-shirts and boots every day.

I am a little intimidated by beautiful girls.

And I drink coffee with two espresso shots in them.

Don’t fall in love with me.

I will say exactly what I think of you without pausing to think

If it will cause you hurt

I’m too short and I will have to stand on tiptoe around you
And you will always have to hold my umbrella in the rain.

Don’t fall in love with me.

I’m too tired in the mornings.

I gently bully my friends.

My solution to every problem is to repress and drink.

And I keep pulling at my hair when I’m stressed.

Don’t fall in love with me.

They say my eyes glow with happiness sometimes.

Although I don’t remember the last time I really felt it.

I get distracted by people in libraries and cafes.

And I usually win every round at Cards Against Humanity.