Blue Seas

I wasn't expecting it, honestly. I was out shopping with friends. We were standing by the denim section when four of them went to look at jewellery. My best friend and I remained, trying to make a final decision about which pair of jeans to buy. I was busy giving her a lecture, on her deplorable taste in dressing. And then suddenly, a phone rang. It was my friend's. Her mom had called, asking her to get on with the shopping and come home soon. It happened then. One moment, we were in this noisy mall, surrounded by friends, chatting away incessantly. The very next second, I was alone. All the noises in the world were muted. Things became blurry. I couldn't see my friends, not even my best friend, who was standing a few feet away. And I definitely couldn't hear her making excuses to her mom, begging her to let her stay out longer. And then there was a tiny voice. Now I can't remember for sure whether it was a tiny voice. Maybe it was a voice in my head. Or maybe it ...

And after a time, we realise, that we have nothing to say to each other. We keep looking at each other and wondering, what's going to come next. Sometimes, its all right to not talk. And let silence do the talking. A lot more is said that way.

I have realised, that I have to grow up. Unfortunately, I have no idea how to. Also, it is easier said than done. Give me some time, okay?

I really love this painting. Its one of my favourites. Somehow, it reminds me a lot of a picture I once painted when I was seven, of a lighthouse on a rock, surrounded by frothy waves and a custard coloured half moon in the background. When I was seven and I hadn't even heard of Van Gogh. And things were a lot simpler, really.

At university, you learn, for the first, and maybe even the last time in your life that you can love a lot of different people in a lot of different ways. Make what you will of that. At university you also develop a new level of respect for parents and home-cooked food. You're emo, all the time. And you want to be left alone. But what you really want is someone to ask you, ''Hey, you okay?'' Because, of course, you're not okay. But you just want to be able to say, ''Yeah, I'm fine.'' So that you can smile. And forget for one second how much your life sucks. If you grew up without any perspective in life (which I'm sure you did), going to university will have put that into place. If you're far away from home and the people you love and have known your entire life, remember, you're at university. This is the place where you get to learn this awesome stuff, and appreciate the things that really matter, and of course, to gain perspec...

Once upon a time. There was a little person. And that little person thought that it could change the world. Clearly the little person was a fool. It was practically impossible for the little person to change itself, and become, say, a bigger person. How did it expect to change the world? The little person had no idea. And it refused to give up because, I don't really know this part. Maybe the little person had issues. At any rate, the little person eventually stopped trying. And then the little person realised. That it had taken the first step. To change the world.

As you keep moving on in life, you leave behind these little pieces of yourself, until you are no longer the original shape and piece you had intended yourself to be. The smile you thought you would see everyday. The nail polish you thought you could borrow every time you needed. The one person you would have to fight with all the time, but the second he's not in front of you, your heart stops beating. Your brothers and your sisters who have been with you your whole life are suddenly separated by a distance you no longer know how to breach. And you leave behind a piece with them. Your family as you knew it is now a thing of the past. You leave behind a piece with them. Your room, your study table, your school friends, the ones you saw everyday for twelve years and so you took them for granted. A piece of you, you leave behind with them. In university, semi-annual friends who come and go, rarely touching your lives, and occasionally, taking away a piece of you. New people, new plac...